rock bottom

All of the sudden the house was surrounded with fire trucks and police. I was far too disconnected from reality having been awake for four days on ecstasy to know what was happening, but it turns out they were there for me.

When people, like myself in years past, get sucked into the dark and deadly reality of addiction they never think that they will become one of the terrifying stories that so many of us have heard. “I’m just experimenting,” they say. “I can stop whenever I want,” we hear.

I said these things for 13yrs during my active addiction. It took countless situations and hopeless circumstances to bring me to the place of truly being ready to change.

As the EMT’s and police raided the house which we had been partying in at least 15 of us experienced a serious buzz kill, and thank God for that. Someone (who had also been up four days taking ecstasy) panicked and called 911 and explained the situation. The authorities showed up in full force.

I didn’t know that the person that made the call told them my name and how I wasn’t acting right, no big surprise there seeing how I had been awake for four days on hard drugs. I was escorted from the premises and taken to the hospital. A few hours at the hospital and I removed the IV and oxygen tubes and checked myself out, only to be partying within a day of this whole ordeal.

It would be a DUI, multiple trips to jail, endless chaos, and one more rehab before a glorious transformation began to unfold in my life. It is clear that God was watching over me long before I allowed Him in my life.

Over ten years now into my new life of freedom and recovery I have and still do work with countless people caught in addiction, or trying to grow in their recovery. In the midst of this I often hear from friends, family members, and loved ones of the person caught in addiction that they just need to hit "rock bottom".

I would agree, but I think my definition of rock bottom differs from theirs. One would think that my experience of being the focus of EMT’s and police officers rushing a dope house would propel me to wake up and change, it didn’t. Why? Because rock bottom is different for everyone.

Rock bottom is defined by the person living in the addiction. Rock bottom is simple, it is wherever you stop digging the hole. For some rock bottom is unfortunately the grave, I have had well over 30 friends whose lives where ended by addiction. I was just as bad or worse then any of them.

For some rock bottom is an embarrassing episode after having too much to drink. For some it is their eighth time being arrested, and for some it’s being brought back to life with Narcan.

Regardless of how you define rock bottom it looks different for everyone, and it DOES NOT have to be some horrific circumstances.

Rock bottom is decided by the individual, and it is simple. It is where the shovel is laid down and the climb back to reality begins.

The person caught in the deadly grip of addiction CAN change, I was that person, along with countless other people I call friends.

Here is a short video story of HOPE

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"The 5 Pillars of Recovery"

It had been a long and paranoid drive. My mind was juggling three different pinball games and the only thing that was certain was that my future was completely uncertain.

It had been a long 13yrs of drug and alcohol addiction, anger, suicidal thinking, and a lonely dark depression. I just wanted it to be over. I was out of options, out of people to beg from, and out of energy to keep chasing the dark dream of addiction.

There I was driving back home to my parents house at the age of twenty six with nothing but a long list of overwhelming problems. I had been drinking myself to death in the small town of nowhereville USA.

I had no license, no insurance, no registration, and a handful of warrants out for my arrest. Needless to say, the two and a half hour drive stirred a thick and intensely unhealthy anxiety.

I was recalling the unwanted and humbling phone call I made to my parents asking for help to try and get into yet another rehab. They reluctantly agreed and I faced my mess with the first step of driving to their house.

The uncomfortable arrival, yet safe haven, was near as I pulled off the freeway toward their place. I had spent many years driving the back roads avoiding police in their city, so I figured it’d be a safe bet for the last five minutes of driving.

As I turned my Infiniti G20 down a back road it just so happens that a cop turned right behind me.

Fear gripped me and a shot of adrenaline coursed through my veins. I thought I’d nonchalantly speed up and try and make a turn, hoping the police officer wouldn’t see my expired tags. He noticed my unusual acceleration and those daunting blue and red flashing lights lite up behind me for the last time.

I knew it was over.

I pulled over on the quiet back street and instantly started chain smoking cigarettes, I knew inwardly I was going to jail and there’s no smoking in that cement cage. But it was as if time immediately reached a slow crawl and I knew it was best for me to surrender.

I had had enough, I was done. As the officer approached the window I was already waving the white flag. Before he could ask for my license, registration, and insurance (I knew the drill all to well) I had made up my mind. He came to window and I handed him my license and said, “Here you go. I have no license, registration, or insurance and I have a handful of warrants.”

He looked at me and said, “Ok, just wait here and sit tight.” As another squad car pulled on the scene time continued to stand still. My mind entered a moment of clarity.

I thought to myself, “I’m heading to my parents to get help, I’m completely defeated, I’m beyond tired, and I’m out of options...God, help me.” The length of my prayer didn’t rouse God’s heart, nor did the eloquence of it. It was the posture of my heart that moved God’s heart. I was honest, and I was sincere. I couldn’t do it anymore, I surrendered.

Today, over 11yrs into this glorious freedom I can look back now and see that that moment caused a tectonic shift in my spiritual reality. Within days God began doing for me what I could not do for myself and He wiped my legal slate clean. Grace launched me into the life I dreamed of, but couldn’t seem to grasp. Giving up control, gave me control. Grace runs the show now, and the same life awaits you.

Surrendering to Victory - Video Story

Erik Frederickson is Life and Recovery Coach. He has clients all over the world and he is considered an expert at helping people transform their life in powerful ways.

Contact Erik HERE - info@recoveringreality.com

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