"I relapsed, now what?"

Relapse does not have to be part of your story.

Relapse can, unfortunately, be common with some people in recovery, but you don't have to buy into the thinking that you're going to relapse at some point.

Over 11 yrs into my recovery journey and after helping hundreds of people get clean and sober I have identified two time periods when people most often relapse. The first is obvious, it's early recovery.

Years of active addiction put us on a course of creating and avoiding problems.

That and the fact that changing from active addiction into healthy recovery is hard enough by itself and it can sometimes feel like the perfect storm. But no matter the mess someone has created, recovery is possible and the choice to recover is always the best one.

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Struggling to step into recovery, and stay in recovery? Check out this amazing story of a friend of ours stepping into recovery after decades of active addiction.

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The second time that I see people relapse is a not-so-obvious one, and that is when life gets good again. When life gets good again we can sometimes fall into the trap of thinking, "I got my life back in order. I can manage my drinking and using now."

Let's say you fall into one of these categories and you've relapsed, first of all, it's OK. I'm not condoning a relapse, but you are still loved and recovery is still worth it. Also, know this...you may have lost your sobriety date but you didn't lose the experience you gained.

If you're really ready to change, take accountability and responsibility as fast as you can. The sooner you face it, the sooner you get past it. Admit your wrongs and start getting back to what you know works.

One of the biggest things I emphasize with my clients when it comes to relapse prevention, or what to do if you relapsed, is the importance of daily habits and discipline.

Just about every time I talk with someone that has relapsed I ask them what their daily spiritual fitness was like and almost always they admit that it was few and far between, or nonexistent.

If you feel yourself in a bit of shape, spiritually speaking, the best way I have found to get back into clear thinking and actions is by getting back to the daily disciplines of reading, writing, praying, and talking with people in recovery.

So you might have relapsed, but you don't have to dig that hole deeper. Rock bottom is simple, it's where you decide to stop digging. Call someone and admit what's going on, and start getting back into spiritual shape today.

And remember this...

God loves you, forgives you, and wants you to be happy even more than you do. He is on your side. He is the best partner you'll ever have, and remember, "No one that matters is keeping track of your failures." - Mike Maeshiro

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4 Tips For Staying Clean and Sober This Christmas Season

Christmas is a beautiful time. Family time, dinner parties, and friends are familiar themes. But for some people, especially people in early recovery, holidays can trigger some rough memories and feelings.

If this is you, know that you are not alone.

I recall blurry holidays filled with inebriated episodes of self-centered chaos. My thirteen years of active addiction were layered with empty and depressed Holiday seasons. Whether I was surrounded by my family that loved me or willingly isolating myself while consuming whatever substances I could get my hands on, I was empty and alone and often questioned if living was worth it.

Now over eleven years into my journey of freedom and recovery and Christmas is filled with fun, family, and joyous gatherings. If you’re not there yet in your recovery, don’t worry, it gets easier.

I can now go to parties with people drinking and not have a second thought or be even remotely triggered. The same reality is available for you, but for now here are some simple and practical tips for remaining free and victorious during the next few weeks.

1- Stay Connected to God

God understands, and God wants your Christmas season to be special even more than you do. The power needed to remain strong this time of year is fully available. Your part, spend time with The One who has all the power.

We all need downtime, but are you isolating or relaxing? Granted this year has forced many of us into isolation, but we can still be intentional and step outside of our comfort zone to connect with friends and family.

Isolation can position you to stew in some dangerous mindsets. PICK UP THE PHONE! Call someone else in recovery, they want to help. Much of recovery is learning to do the right thing whether you feel like it or not.

It’s easy to do the right thing when you feel like it, but real change and recovery take place when you learn to do what you know you should do even if you don’t feel like doing it.

2- Go to meetings, and/or be around people that understand what you’re going through.

12 Step meetings have people who understand the madness that can sometimes go on in the mind of an addict or alcoholic, especially in early recovery. Don’t wait for everything to be the way you think it should be. Pick up the phone and call someone, being intentional and reaching out to people that you can talk with will lighten your load.

In my first year of recovery I lived with people who had significant clean time, I went to an average of 2 meetings a day, and I went out of my way to help people that were new in recovery. Early on, my life depended upon this.

3- Think Solution, Not Problem

What you dwell on in your thinking you grant permission to play out through your actions. Almost always the list of good things happening in your life is much longer than the list of problems. Which are you focusing on?

The good, or the bad?

If you are facing some serious problems, it’s common in early recovery, all you have to do is know the next step you need to take and take it. All you can do is your part, and let God do for you what you can’t do for yourself. If you’re having trouble seeing and believing it, be around someone that will believe in you and encourage you into your own victory.

Writing a gratitude list can also be extremely helpful.

4- GIVE

Something amazing happens when you freely give away what was freely given to you. The idea that you give to gain makes no sense to the person that hasn’t made this paradoxical paradise part of their daily lifestyle.

You may feel like you have nothing of substance to give. But I promise you that no matter where you are in your recovery, there is someone struggling worse than you and you have hope to give them.

Think spontaneous and practical. What are your talents? Where can you freely give your talents to help others? Maybe you have money to give, send some money to someone that you know needs it.

Maybe you have time to give. Find a soup kitchen, or homeless shelter and ask if you can donate your time to help.

Maybe someone you know needs a ride somewhere, and the list could go on. Getting outside yourself and helping brighten someone else’s Christmas season will paradoxically brighten yours.

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From Hopeless to Hope Dealer

For those caught in the struggle.

I’ve lived in my car, and my copilot was alcohol and drugs.

Even a couple of years into my recovery journey I would still get nervous when cops were behind me because my mind carried a residue of fear after living in active addiction for over a decade.

I stared down the barrel of a gun that I was holding contemplating if life was worth living. This sad reality happened more than once.

I’ve had multiple active warrants out for my arrest all at the same time. I don't miss living in that fear.

I’ve gone a couple of days without food because I used my last dollars for gas in the car.

And I thought that was how life was supposed to be lived.

I know what it’s like to hide in a dark room and pull a blanket over my head afraid of people and the sunlight. My heart still goes out to people trapped in this dark reality.

BUT THEN GOD CAME ON THE SCENE...

I also know what it’s like to have all my legal consequences wiped clean in a day. Only the grace of God could do that!

I also know what it’s like to be used by God to stop someone else from suicide while they were holding a noose. From hopeless, to hope dealer...only God can do that.

I also know what it’s like to live over a decade drug and alcohol-free. When God enters the scene so does real freedom.

I also know what it’s like to love people so much that I chase them down on the street to pray for them sometimes. Once you experience His love, you become possessed to give it away.

I also know the unspeakable joy of being a husband and father. A true gift.

I also know what it’s like to know God, not just know about Him, but know Him.

There is a BIG difference. Knowing Him is the joy of my life.

No matter how low you’ve gone, God can RADICALLY transform your life. As a matter of fact, it’s what He’s best at.

Give God an inch, and He will give you a mile.

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Join the thousands of people that have gone through our FREE YouVersion Devotional, "Freedom from Addiction" - JOIN HERE

If you, or a loved one, is struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction please set up a time to connect with us. We have been coaching people into freedom from addiction for over 8yrs now. Let's talk... - text or call - 619-880-6935

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